


Fish Band.

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [126]
Category: Gotham (TV), nonfandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Bands, Crack, Fish, Gen, OOC because it’s technically nonfandom, Teenage AU, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-03 07:13:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14563773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: Three teenagers (?) in a band, trying to improve their music and their lives.How will they fare?This oneshot seems pretty fishy to me.





	Fish Band.

**Author's Note:**

> If you came here because it’s tagged Gotham (...or because it’s tagged Oswald, that’s probably why I’d be here), I’m just warning you now that this is a crackfic, it’s barely legible and everyone is deliberately very OOC.
> 
> Enjoy~

301- Fish puns.

Once upon a time there lived a girl **cod** Fish. Fish worked in a **plaice** known as **‘Bass Line’** , which happened to be the most **dacent** music shop in all of Poissonrouge, the city in which she lived. 

One day Fish **daceided** to **tuna bass** guitar so she could start up a **rockfish** band. She collected some fellow people to be in the band with her. One was a **musselbound, shellfish** jerk called Butch who liked to play **drums**. The other was a weird guy who seemed to have thought everything **trout** , yet never knew the answers. He had many names, one of which was Oz after the world with the Emerald City. He was the lead singer of the band.

Fish and her band met in the **bassment** of Butch’s house where they could practise. When she arrived, Oz was **salmon, “Minnow,** I think we should change the lyrics to the last verse. It’s not **mackerelabre** enough to deliver a **cod** impact on our audience.” 

Butch gave him a **hook**. “ **Reel** it in Oz. This is the **bass’** best lyric yet. It’s **raw, it’s reel** , it’s totally **sushi**. I think we should keep it.”

“ **Reely**? We could totally ~~tweek~~ the line to **mackerel** it sound a little more... **sharking**. At the moment it **flounders** too much. Seriously, Butch! I’m gonna ask Fish **aboat** it.”

“Well, I must agree with you a little there Ozzie,” Fish cooed, causing the others to stare at her in terror from where she **perched** on the stairs leading down to the **bassment** , “I don’t know if our band is **herring** in the right direction. My **bream** was to create a name for us, and with lyrics like the ones we’ve got that could never happen. This **sole** lyric needs to change, yes, but what about us? We need to change too.”

“I agree. Our **rockfish** band needs to move forward, or we will fall back.” Oz sighed dramatically, falling back onto the sofa in the **bassment** as a sign of symbolism.

“That wasn’t very punny Oz.” Butch stated, still **crabby** about having his lyric changed.

“Shut up, Butch. Can’t you see I’m in pain?” Oz cried out, hands flying to his **dace** in **crestfishen** sadness. He felt that their prospects were rather **bleak** in this situation.

“Don’t worry guys. We may be **crappie** now, but we can still get **betta**. In fact, I am positive that we will be the most **brill** iant **rockfish** band ever!” The other two cheered despite not feeling cheerful.

So the band went out and practised until their **carps** were hurting and their mouths were dry, and then, only then, did they stop for a break. Oz lay down, messing with his fringe to create some new styles, while Butch picked at his nails and wondered how his girlfriend was doing. Fish, on the other hand, was **gill** trying to sort out her **bass** so that it produced the best sound. It took a long time, but finally she got it...

“Okay everyone. Oz. Butch. It is time! My bass is ready. Butch! Hit it.” Butch gave her guitar a gentle slap. She punched him, and he hit the drums. Her guitar soon sounded after.

_This world is full of pain,_  
_**Fishy** dealings, in shady **plaices** ,_  
_Not a **dacent** folk in sight, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide,_  
_I don’t see a way out of this, **cod** is dead, that’s what Nietzsche told me,_  
_So I’ll rise, up, until I die, I’ll be the one to take control..._  
_I’ll rise up, and I’ll die, trying to take over something which isn’t mine..._

As the instrumental kicked in Oz shyly turned to Fish to see how he was doing. He’d never really **piked** the chorus of the song, but it was the best they could think of when writing it. 

_When darkness settles in,_  
_Familiar **daces** , in different times,_  
_You find love in a loveless world,_  
_Betrayal and broken **carps** together,_  
_Love is only a riddle to those who see it that way,_  
_I wouldn’t mind if those people died today,_

Butch hit the **drums** with incredible intensity as the chorus rolled in again, watching Oz as he sang it **brilliantly**. If they were ever heard, they’d get a front page **herring** in the local news at least.

_Why do we live this way,_  
_Going **plaices** nothing to say,_  
_Our **carps** break, and we forget,_

_All the things we once saw,,,,,,,,,_

Fish was amazed that Oz could hold that note so well. Usually he didn’t do so **gar** eat on that **carp**. 

_IT DOESN’T **BATTER** ANY MORE!_ He screamed, cheeks flushing with the intensity of his **trout** while Fish hit a **refloundering** note on the guitar, echoing through the city with the calls of futility and the meaninglessness of day to day life within the song. Butch slammed his **fishsticks** into the **drums** , ending the song with a final crash of the cymbals. 

For a moment, the **grouper** stood **gill** , breathing heavily. Then they all started to laugh and cheer, glad that the song was over and they had done a good performance. 

But yeah, they really needed to change that final lyric. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be Nonfandom, but I stole these Gotham people’s names and shoved them into my oneshot as angsty teenagers trying to start a trashy rock band. That’s to add to the crack~
> 
> The song at the end is deliberately poorly written. It’s a parody of those cliche edgy teenagers in a rock band who write bad songs and make too much noise in their parents’ bas(s)ement. You know the ones.
> 
> ...I hope.
> 
> The song does have a tune and doesn’t make sense in any other tune, but I can’t sing and don’t know anyone who is willing to sing my trashy fishy song, so please just imagine it however you want. 
> 
> Also, I have a good idea for a non-crack version of this in which there is another band, many more characters and lots of Penygma/Nygmobblepot (I’m warming up to the time).
> 
> In other news, I’ve finally seen all of Gotham! I just finished Season 4 Episode 20 before posting this, and I’m super excited for the season finale (I’m guessing it’s a two-parter like Season 3?) next week and the week after.
> 
> Prompt- Fish puns.
> 
> Gotham has a character called Fish. She needed to be in this. And I love Oswald.
> 
> Original Number- 301.


End file.
